i dont drink but tonight i wore a missile toe and mimosa t-shirt with the arms cut off to qualify for the ugly sweater party. all of my friends are beautiful. they donned their santa-riding-a-unicorn sweaters and acrylic reindeer shells and tried to neutralize their exquisiteness with Tacky - but it is just impossible. one friend showed me an app where she could wipe her screen with her index finger and she swore it was erasing our wrinkles. i could not stop laughing. not because i couldn't tell the difference but because i thought it was so damn funny that she would try to erase the wrinkles on a photo of something so imperfectly perfect already. plus it was the way her finger rubbed back and forth naive almost, the finger, i could barely take it. friendship cannot be measured in cocktails poured or hors d'oeuvres served or even sweaters worn. but little fingers on screens and white elephant re-gifts and the magic of reading the bill held out three feet in front of you... one eye closed for squinting the other shot full of love. girlfriends are just the best. there is no other way to say it.
my child is poet though he hates to be called one. says every mom thinks their kid is a genius. meanwhile, he's writing lines that strip flesh from bone - about his 92 year old grandfather - about honor about home. i see that words are just a tool for him like a baseball mitt or a pencil or food. maybe he is on to something - this ambivalence towards words. skips magic pebbles across the pond while i dig around in the dark looking for the perfect stone.
please don't tell anyone but i have a Chiweenie. his name is Felix. Felix is a small appetizer of a dog - a little Fifi - a tiny Foo. He tries very hard to speak to me with leaps and racing, a cocked head, a shiver, a whine. When I returned home from work today he tore circles around me in delight and said, unabashedly, "I left you a tootsie roll near the door."
today a lovely stranger collecting beauty gave me a plant. she had grown a little tree from a cutting - knowing, just like magic - how to do such things. because her manner had moved me, i brought my new friend a box of chocolates and she asked "how did you know?" i think inside every single person is a part of you breathing. you should see how alive our tree is.