i wanted so much to be proud
of who we were becoming
but when things didn't go my way
i was furious.

angry at the world
irate at people i love
mad even at the sun
for shining its "haven't-a-care-in-the-world" 
kind of shine - today 
of all days.

then i remembered a promise i made myself
one time long ago -
when words really mattered.

always no matter what
i will look for the light.
always no matter what
i will find a way home.



sometimes i am afraid
that my children will die 
or i will leave them motherless
or the wrong person will become President.
i worry that if any of these things happen 
someone or everyone will be unsafe.
Armageddon will happen
or maybe god will break forever.
when i am struggling
with the entire universe
and trying to control outcomes
way outside my league
the space inside me filled with love
starts to sink
until a bottom falls out
and there is only worry
going down
and down 
and down.
if i am lucky
i will love my children today and 
take good care of my own little self
and i will pray for my country
and even for god.



dog barking.

car door shuts.

no footsteps.

To be everywhere

without moving

is some kind of renaissance

or maybe

it is a hiding

that allows distraction

and fear

to parade as education.

When the clock refuses to stop

and the sun shifts just enough

into a bustling sky

one must forfeit the retreat

and walk

(though trepidation spurs the coil)

with head up into the day.

Remembering Everything

in moments warranting attention

causes the coyote to whimper before lunging

and the prey to smile

before the escape.