Rebel Mom

okay…I admit…it is getting old – even for me – this searching around for a name for my pen other than “FingerPoet”. This coming up duds over and over again – an ever futility-inspiring moment of realizing I missed the boat on domain names….likely years ago…when all the organized A types were buying the cool new tech saavy shit while the rest of us ( or maybe just me) were still sifting through the rack of the Salvation Army for a cool (dig it) polyester blend floral mumu we would pretend we had the umph to someday turn into a funkadellic pillow….or a shawl.
I digress.
I gave RebelMom a shot – TAKEN. Not that I actually want to conjure up visuals of a harley davidson vest wearing 40-something with mom jeans and a feather-strung roach clip in my hair. Plus, for this mom, it hits a little too close to home….like calling myself a rebel will somehow betray the last 15 years I’ve spent trying to undo that stigma. I imagine myself smoking Marlboro reds with chipped fingernail polish while making Pillsbury Plus sugar cookies out of the tube. Of course, after being denied access to the purchase, I perused the site for rebelmom and it (she) was nothing like I imagined myself to be, given the name. She’s all manicured and beautiful and has her S%#t together – a pretty mom (likely of girls, which explains some things) and she has the real deal advertisements on her site to prove she is up to some reputable good.
Next, either off the seat of my pants, or through the ingenious methodolgy that only a mind itself can know, I searched “FatPeace”. AVAILABLE! But c’mon, you know 37% of the people will think I meant “FatPiece” which makes me immediatly think of “piece of ass” and well, the truth is, I don’t want anyone to think of a fat piece of ass when they think of me, or my writing. So, the drawing baord smacks me up side the head again and I have to hope that someone out there reading this will either convice me to choose what I got, or at least point me in a sound direction. (Then I have to deal with whether I am indeed a person even willing to follow sound direction). Uh,,,,Duff?
What kind of rebel am I anyway, really? I mean, when you get down to it? I wake up every morning, make the oatmeal or breakfast burrito or yogurt parfait (yes, there is a bowl or 3 of cereal in there somewhere). I pack the flipping lunches – REFUSING to cut the crust off – I attend the games. Do hoework, day dream about botox and manicures and more time. Certainly I’m not slamming martinis before getting in the car line or popping valiums on my way to the dry cleaners – and that wouldn’t necessarily make me any more of a rebel than an ass, so…?
One of my partying friends was saying about New Years Eve to another friend who had said she was spending the night home with her kids “Oh, come on! What are you gonna do, stay home with a tomato enema and a Mormon video?” As if that were like the worst thing one could do on a night so worthy of hurrah as New Years Eve. All I could think was “a tomato enema and a religious video (?) – that’s right up my alley!”
Sadly, I am only sort of joking.
I added adsense to my blog thinking it would be fun to make $000.13 a month off my writing but the only ad they approved me for was some nonesense abouta phone service for “entreprenuers”. I am not sure whether to laugh or cry.

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